Opening the World

Contributing Author: Susan Brown

The four teenage girls who come into the arena are all different in their dress – from a brightly flowered vest and cowboy boots, to a stylish puffy coat and sparkly earrings, to semi-goth head-to-toe black, to torn jeans and a sweatshirt. They’ve clearly dressed carefully and are as different from each other as the many birds that swoop around the Courageous Connections farm. 

But they have one thing in common – each girl has experienced the trauma of extreme bullying or the aching frustration inherent to children on the autism spectrum.

The horses, Remi and Punkin, and the volunteers wait patiently. The air is cold, not quite frosty, but damp and uncomfortable. The bright winter sun doesn’t make up for the chill. But it’s okay. There is work to be done and everyone is ready.

The first two girls come into the arena. Mary’s hair is woven into tight braids that hang down over her brightly flowered vest. She’s a spot of color against the brown dirt and the volunteers’ dark coat. Without displaying much emotion, she greets Punkin. Walking beside Alexis, the volunteer, Mary clenches the lead rope and, with intense concentration, helps lead Punkin slowly around the arena. When the circuit is completed, her face relaxes. With delicate, gentle hands she strokes the horse’s big head. When Punkin drops her head so that their foreheads touch, Mary first smiles and then giggles. It is clear that Punkin is her friend and Mary loves her.

Sarah could be ready to go out with friends in her long cream coat and sparkly earrings. But her classmates have teased her so relentlessly that she has been withdrawn from the public education system and is being home schooled. Courageous Connections and the warmth of the horses are offering therapy to ease such shattering ostracization. 

Sarah touches Remi’s nose with her closed hand and stands back, as if any more contact is too much. The volunteer says something encouraging and the girl startles; tentatively she accepts a brush and begins slow, calming strokes along Remi’s side. She is meticulous in working out any errant clumps of mud. Sarah appears to have enclosed herself in her own silent world. The warm touch of the horse, the smells, and the caring for another being that accepts her, doesn’t fix what she has experienced, but will perhaps open a window to healing. 

When Sarah has completed her session, Casey, dressed all in black, arrives, ready to work with Remi After the appropriate greeting, the girl takes the lead rope. With head held high and a small smile on her face, Casey leads the horse around the arena. Her steps are brisk, purposeful. Before long, she has become so attuned to the horse, that her steps are synchronized with Remi’s. They have created a bond that is completely and unconsciously reflected in their body language. There is a feeling of hard-won success in every one of Casey’s movements.

The fourth girl, Emma is dark-haired and almost sparrow-like. As she brushes Punkin’s coat, Emma chatters about being a leader, about the importance of being needed. The horse swings her head around to watch the girl, ears pricked in interest.

“Do you think she’ll follow me?” Emma asks.

“Try it,” Alexis suggests.

Without a lead rope, Emma takes a few steps ahead and clucks to call the horse. Punkin watches her for a moment and then independently decides to go with her. Emma’s face is alive with wonder as she and the horse walk together around the arena in the harmony of trust and friendship. When their walk is done, Emma begins braiding the Punkin’s mane and then her long, elegant tail. It has the feel of a pajama party where the girls fuss with each other’s hair. 

The only interruption occurs when Sarah’s session has ended and, instead of leaving, comes over to offer a surprisingly warm goodbye to the volunteers and each of the horses.

There is an adage that is manifestly true for these girls – the difference between no friends and one friend is the whole world. At Courageous Connections, the horses offer nonjudgemental acceptance to these lonely girls. Perhaps other friendships will follow.

And so, the whole world is opened.

To see more of Susan Brown’s work please see prior blog post and visit: https://www.susanbrownwrites.com/