Transitions

By Susan Brown

After her marriage dissolved, Shelley went to therapy to help put her life back together. “It was fine, but then my therapist told me, ‘There’s a place we can do therapy with a horse.’” Shelley’s eyes light up at the memory. “She got me there!”

Despite being at the tail end of the Pandemic, connections were made and Shelley was able to meet her therapist at Kathy Sander’s home, the original site of Courageous Connections.

“I remember driving up Kathy’s long driveway, nervous because someone else was in my circle. Then I met Kathy with her big smile and warmth.”

The therapist arrived and the three of them walked into Kathy’s barn to meet her horses, Snazee and Tres. “The smell of horses and dirt brought back so many childhood memories,” Shelley explains, “of being with horses as a child. My childhood memories aren’t very good – except being around horses when I was young, and that settled me.”

For half an hour, smelling the wonderful scents of a clean barn and cared for horses, the three talked, exploring how equine therapy could benefit Shelley.

“We went out to the pastures and at first Snazee kept walking away. Kathy encouraged me to walk up to her and the therapist asked me ‘How does that make you feel?’ I had to analyze that, but Kathy told me to keep going.” Shelley pauses. “I said ‘No, she doesn’t want me.’” But with Kathy’s urging Shelley approached the horse and that is where it started to change for Shelley. 

“I had to be confident in myself,” she says slowly. “I did have awareness. I did have a voice and I could use it. They put me on the spot to figure out the connection and action. I knew deep down that the horse needed space – I can’t chase the horse.”

But then the horse came to her, and Shelley barely looked back. From being a client drawing strength from Snazee, she wanted to go further, to pursue this equine-assisted learning.

“I went almost every weekend to be with Kathy and her breadth of knowledge. I wanted to absorb everything she had to share. I was still seeing the therapist and then went up there with Kathy. It was a natural transition.”

After several months, Shelley began to feel good about her life again. She started taking shifts as a volunteer and then began the study and training to become a certified equine instructor. “I knew I wanted to do the work as an instructor, to get the certification for equine therapist. I was supported. Everyone here made time for me to make it happen.”

She smiles. “Even as a volunteer, I saw the bravery, the calmness that happened with the participants. Anybody who is coming is going to feel nervous, is going to be scared. But actually going into this environment is going to calm the feeling. Whatever a person is feeling, I read and we go with it. I never felt there was an agenda on me. After several months coming here, I felt good and felt I needed to help others. That, in turn, helped me.”

Three years ago, she received her certification and now every Sunday, Shelley is guiding others along the path to healing that she had taken. Her favorite experiences are with the young children who have been faced with trauma of every kind. 

“I love my littles,” she says, and the warmth she experienced radiates outward from her.

Through Courageous Connections, the people, and the therapy horses, Shelley grew in strength and confidence. From this transition she moved forward and outward becoming someone who can lead and support other traumatized people along their own healing path.